Guard Your Joy - S2E17

Joy is a performance edge, and it needs protection. When you’re joyful, you think clearer, connect better, and play free. When you’re surrounded by chronic criticism, your momentum stalls—and so does your team’s.

Coach Mikki shares practical ways to spot joy thieves, respond with composure, and keep your culture strong. We unpack the difference between high standards and harsh judgment, how to offer critique without crushing confidence, and why recognition is a strategic tool for repeatable excellence. You’ll hear simple rituals to build a “force field” around your focus, decline drama you didn’t invite, and return to gratitude so negativity can’t own the narrative.

This conversation is for athletes, coaches, leaders, and anyone tired of letting other people’s moods run their day. Learn how to set firm boundaries, curate your circle, and protect what matters most: your joy, your peace, and your potential. Start strong, finish strong, and dominate the space in between with clear habits that reinforce who you want to be and how your team shows up.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a teammate who needs the lift, and leave a quick review so more people can build a mindset that wins.

Thank you Blue Feather Cleaning 

Chapters

• 1:03 Welcome And Sponsor Shoutout
• 1:44 Naming The Joy Thief Problem
• 2:42 A Game-Changing Play Undercut
• 3:37 Why Negativity Sticks And Spreads
• 5:12 Joy As Momentum And Edge
• 6:27 Decline Drama, Raise Your Energy
• 6:47 Cut Distractions And Set Standards
• 8:02 Build Your Mental Force Field
• 8:51 Gratitude Fuels Durable Joy
• 9:41 Protect Joy, Peace, And Potential
• 10:07 Finish Strong And Dominate

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:32

Okay, bring it in. Bring it in. Listen up. Listen up. Hey, welcome to Fourth of One Mindset. I'm Coach Mickey. And before we get started, I would like to give a shout out to an extraordinary person. And I wish her an abundance of success, uh, Brie and her company, Blue Feather Cleaning out of New Jersey. And if you are looking to have your office, your home, or something that you need cleaned up, I highly recommend that you reach out to her. She will do not only an incredible job, she will go above and beyond for you. So if you are looking for that, please find the information in the link within the podcast. And you can reach out to her for your cleaning needs. So today I want to talk about something that I think all of us experience now and then, hopefully now and then, not all the time. And that is people that steal your joy. And why do I say that? Because I recently uh have had this situation throughout this season. And it, you know, once or twice I get it, you know, because somebody's in a bad mood. But man, uh when you've got somebody that can always find and criticize, regardless of how good you do, I mean, they're just joy stealers. That's all they are. And I had this situation this past game, and it's not just this past game, but I've had it during some of the other games where my guys have done something incredible. And instead of being celebrated and rewarded, this one coach will constantly find what they did wrong every single time. And and then I have the my kids come to me, and I actually this last thing, I had a guy who made a game-changing play that really is the reason we won. Uh, because he was uh he was my defensive line and he went right in there and he he saw the chance to go in and and take the opportunity to get a pick, and sure enough he did, and we had a turnover, and it really changed the whole game for us. And while we're celebrating him coming off onto the sideline on his big play that he made, this one coach felt the need to express to him how he should have been, he shouldn't have got it, he was in the wrong spot, and he shouldn't have got, and I'm thinking, why? Why? What the hell is wrong with you? You know, that you just had to go step out of your way to tell this kid what he didn't do instead of celebrating him. So it got me thinking, because I I hate joy thieves, I really do. You know, these are people who criticize doubt or they gossip and they just have that negative energy that just wants to drain the life out of your day. You know, I call them emotional black holes. You know, you can walk into a room and you can just feel it. You know, you can feel the moment that they walk up to you that there's going to be a situation or something said, you know, that you're gonna be like, oh, why did I bother? Um, you know, these are the people that could win the lottery and you know, complain that the bag is too heavy. Now, I'd like to believe that maybe they don't mean to. You know, maybe they're struggling, you know, maybe they're unhappy in their own lives, but it doesn't mean that they have to constantly put everybody down. And I guess maybe because they're miserable in their own life, they feel like they got to make everybody else miserable. I mean, what's that saying? Misery loves company, I guess. Yeah, so you know, I I just I just know that, you know, when people lose their own joy and they're trying to take yours, I guess, I guess you have to kind of look at it, maybe what did they lose? You know, what have they lost to make them that way? And as much as you want to try to spread your positivity and and constantly stay uplifted, sometimes it's really hard when you know that that person is never going to change. There's times where I think that uh we have to look at these people and kind of look at them maybe with some compassion, or maybe just meet them where they are and understand that you know this is not really a reflection of us, it's them. But when you're joyful, you're unstoppable. You move differently, you think clearer, you connect better. Joy is not a weakness, it's a momentum, it's what keeps you going. And I think maybe this is why some of these joystealers are who they are, because they're not moving anywhere in their life, they're either stuck or they're they're dwelling on something that they just can't get over. And to see other people happy just doesn't fit within their wheelhouse. And and it's unfortunate. But I know for someone who is happy all the time and wants to do things and wants to succeed, having that joy just kind of sets the rhythm. It gives you that spark, it gives you that one burst of belief to say, oh my gosh, I you know, I I've got this, I know I can do this. It's like that excitement of when you decide you want to do something and you get really excited about it, and you're like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that, and I've got this and I've got that, and and you keep going. And then someone comes in and then just drags you into their quagmire and into their drama and their doubt. And I want you to remember something. You don't have to attend every argument that you're invited to. You don't have to match their energy, you can raise it. And what I mean by that is you just can walk away and you know, take what you need, leave the rest, or just don't even approach it to begin with. And sometimes, you know, just like a team, we have to cut people because they're not stepping up to what they need to do, or they're not ready, or they don't fit the standard or the culture. And you're gonna have to let them go. And maybe these are the people that are your joystealers. You're gonna have to learn how to let them go. And you're gonna have to either take them in small doses or just completely stay away from them. You know, don't personalize their noise, their negativity isn't about you, it's about them. So don't internalize it, just observe it and then release it because there's nothing else you're gonna be able to do. It's because you're never gonna get through to these people and build your mental fence, but put a big force field around you. I always tell my guys when they come on the field, and I've even had to do it myself when I've had things happening in my own life, and I can't drag it on the field because I got I got 85 guys depending on me to be there for them. I say, you know what, put a force field around you. Whatever is outside this field is going to be there when you get done, and just focus on the here and now. Where you are right now and what you're doing is the most important thing. No one can take that away from you. They can't. Only you can bring the energy that you want. And you don't allow other people to take away, you know, don't let other people walk around in your mind and dump their negativity there because it has no purpose and it's never going to get you anywhere else. And remember to be grateful. Being grateful, return to gratitude. Joy grows where gratitude lives. Be thankful that you're doing what you're doing and grateful for the people that are around you that are lifting you up and helping you and seeing what you want to do and moving forward. Just have every moment, every state, every opportunity joyful in your life to the point where it lifts you up and brings you to the next step. So here's I want you to take away from today Joy is not something life's gonna give you, it's something you're gonna have to choose every day and decide who you're gonna surround yourself with to always have it. And you gotta protect it. You gotta protect it, you gotta protect it just like I have a running back protect a football. You've got to protect your joy, you've got to protect your power, you've got to protect your peace, and you've got to protect your potential because you know what your abilities are and your potential is so off the charts. And when you know that and you're happy about it, you become unstoppable. Don't worry about the opinions or the setbacks. Stay away from that energy, just stay away from it. Your call, the play for your own game and the life that you're living is based on what you choose to do and who you want to be around and how you take it and what you do with it. So I am going to wish you an abundance of joy, and I hope that you take with you every single day what you choose to do that is going to light you up and make your day successful in every opportunity that you have. Start strong and finish strong and dominate everything in between. I'm Coach Mickey. Let's go.