The Power of Coaching: How One Sentence Can Change a Life - S2E14

Words have incredible power, especially when they come from authority figures like coaches. A single sentence can completely transform how a young athlete sees themselves and their potential.

Coach Mikki pulls back the curtain on a frustrating pattern she's witnessed throughout her coaching career: the coach with an ego who tears players down rather than building them up. Drawing from current experiences coaching defensive linemen, Coach Mikki  shares stories of players who quit after demoralizing comments and others who flourished when given positive support despite being told they "weren't good enough."

The most successful teams don't necessarily have superior talent, they have superior mindsets. She explores how NFL teams can stage remarkable comebacks not because players suddenly become more skilled during halftime, but because their mental approach transforms. This same principle applies whether you're coaching youth football or leading in any capacity. We're not responsible for others' actions, but we are responsible for how we respond to situations and the words we choose in those moments.

What makes this conversation particularly powerful is her 25 years of coaching experience across multiple disciplines. She's observed that the most impactful messages in anyone's life typically come from parents, teachers, coaches, and friends, in that order. This places enormous responsibility on coaches to choose words carefully, understanding that what they say may echo in a young person's mind for decades.

Are you mindful of how your words affect others? Next time you're frustrated or disappointed, take a breath before speaking. Remember that whatever you put out as intention is what you'll get back. Let's make someone's life better today by choosing our words with care and compassion. Start strong, finish strong, and dominate everything in between!

Chapters

• 1:02 Introduction to Mindset Coaching
• 2:14 The Impact of Negative Coaching
• 3:48 Taking Responsibility for Your Words
• 5:46 How Mindset Changes Everything
• 9:12 Challenge to Make a Difference

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:31

Okay, bring it in, bring it in, listen up, listen up. Hey, I'm Coach Mickey and you're here on 4thin1 Mindset. Just like in football, one play can change the whole game, but in life, one sentence can change a person. I've seen it so many times on the field and off the field that either something that is said to a player can absolutely lift them up or it can totally devastate them. And the reason I want to talk about this today is I am currently coaching. I'm actually on a team and I'm coaching.

Speaker 1: 1:09

I've had the privilege of being the D-line coach and I'm really excited because, as you guys know, I love my kids, I love what I do and I love the fact that I get an opportunity to use football as a vehicle to not only help them be better players but hopefully give them life skills. And through the years that I've been coaching without fail it happens every single season. Fail, it happens every single season. I have got one coach, one every team that seems to have an ego, think that they're better than everybody else. Doesn't care what they say to the kids, it's their way or no way. And it just frustrates me to no end because I see it. I see it how it affects not only the staff and the coaching staff, but I also see how it affects the kids. So I wanted to do this podcast today because I got a couple guys, since I've been at this location, that have decided to either leave and not play anymore because it's something that was said to them, or I have had other kids that we're working with that were told that they weren't good enough and I've watched them thrive. I have watched them excel farther than anybody thought that they could do. Now I was handed a line of kids that I heard some had played last year and others were on a team but never had the opportunity to play, based on a choice that was made by that head coach of the team that they were on last year.

Speaker 1: 2:45

And when you have got a series of things that happen or you see as a coach, or you see as a coach you know it always leads to the exact same outcome, whether it's good or bad, and I take it very serious that what I say to my guys is going to be taken to heart, and I cannot tell you how many of my kids constantly come up to me and say, coach, was that good, coach? Do I need to do something different. Or, coach, I'm sorry, coach, was that good Coach? Do I need to do something different? Or, coach, I'm sorry, I messed up? Or, coach, I made a mistake, and that's okay, because we all make mistakes. Shoot, I make mistakes.

Speaker 1: 3:23

There's a lot of material to cover, especially when you're trying to learn in a short period of time and then implement it and then put it out on the field. And then you gotta take 11 guys all trying to do the same thing and run the same play, and they've got different calls and they're each and every one of them is trying to do the best they can and it does, it clicks and it starts to work and, as you can see, as time goes on and through practice that's why we have practice is to be able to help them get to where they need to be so this play can be executed. You know when it comes game time, although how they're brought there is a whole different story, because I've seen one statement completely change the momentum, whether it's positive or negative, and if you've ever been out on the field there and you guys know me, or, for those of you that listen, that have been on my teams or on my team. You know how I coach. I'm all about lifting you up and if something goes haywire, I just go hey, you know what Short-term memory that's what quarterbacks have to have short-term memory. You shake it off, you let it go. We can't change that last play, just go in and fix it. Or if you don't understand, come to me and I'll say hey, this is what I see, this is what you need to do, this is what we need to run, or I'll walk you through it. But what I'm not going to do is I'm not going to scream at you and belittle you and call you names and make you feel as though you are less than a person that you are, and I have to sometimes bite my tongue because I see it on the field. And then I've made it my job to go in and undo the damage that someone has said to them, to be able to get these kids in the right mindset. So the reason I'm sharing this with you is whether you play football or you play a sport or you, I don't care.

Speaker 1: 5:17

Whatever you're doing in your life, be responsible for what you say to somebody, and I'm going to say this wholeheartedly. A lot of times we let our emotions get in the way of the words that come out of our mouth, and you have to stop and take a breath and think about what I'm about to say. First of all, I can't take back, and what I'm about to say is going to leave. I can't take back and what I'm about to say is going to leave an impact, whether it's positive or negative. And the other thing, too, is we are not responsible for others' actions. We're only responsible for how we respond. So I'm going to say that again, we're not responsible for other people's actions, we're only responsible for how we respond.

Speaker 1: 6:04

And when I look at my players and I look at my guys, I can see sometimes how they respond. I can see it in their body language, I can see what's happening. And then I think there's a fine line when you're an adult talking to a kid or a child, you know these are 15 year old kids, 16 year old kids, and they look up to you and they're looking for guidance and they're believing in you and they want you to believe in them. And when you don't believe in them and you don't lift them up and you don't help them achieve what they need to do, all it does is create turmoil and it becomes a very toxic environment.

Speaker 1: 6:37

And I have seen the difference between strong, winning teams and I've seen the difference between teams that just cannot come together. And I can tell you right now, mindset is the main reason why that's it. I've seen it from Pop Warner to high school to college and, as we all know, we've seen in the NFL. We've seen NFL teams come back from being down, even in Super Bowls, just come down from being so far behind, and then they come back and nothing changed. Did their talent change? Did they go into the locker room and all of a sudden, somebody got better as the quarterback or somebody got better as the running back or defense. All of a sudden was like, oh, we're better now. No, the only thing that changed was their mindset, and that's so, so, so important.

Speaker 1: 7:31

And as a coach, my responsibility is to make sure that whatever words I'm feeding into these kids' minds is going to leave a positive impression that not only can they take with them on the field or take with them into a classroom or take with them into a locker room, it's whatever I give them as a positive reinforcement and information and ways of lifting them up is what they're going to take with them the rest of their lives. I have worked as a life coach and a health coach and as a football coach and you name it. I probably have coached it and I can tell you the main common denominator I've seen over my 25 years of doing this is that when I'm talking to somebody, the thing that leaves the most lasting impression is something that came from a parent, a teacher, a coach or a friend, and usually it's within that order. So, as coaches, we have got a huge responsibility to make sure that whatever we're saying to the kids or our players or just anybody that you're working with, it will leave a lasting impression. So today I'm going to challenge you to take a moment every time something happens, to be able to take a step back.

Speaker 1: 8:45

Think about what you're going to say prior to letting it fly out of your mouth with an emotion attached to it, and think about how is it going to affect that person, because you cannot take back what you say. You can't. So I want you to be able to be able to take this and realize that whatever you're going to put out there as an intention is what you're going to get back. So let's go out there and make somebody's life a little bit better. Let's win the day in a positive way, not only for what we're doing, but what's the difference that we're making in somebody else's life. So bring it in. Bring it in. Let's start strong and finish strong and dominate everything in between. Let's go.