Confidence or Cockiness? Know the Difference - S1E8

Overconfidence can be a silent saboteur, as I learned firsthand during a crucial game when my team’s winning streak came to a screeching halt. Join me, Coach Mikki, on 4thin1 Mindset, where I unpack this humbling experience and explore the fine line between confidence and cockiness in leadership. Through personal stories and real-world examples, we examine the pivotal role of mindset in fostering trust and building a positive team culture. Learn how true leadership not only involves self-reflection but also prioritizes collective success over individual glory, whether in the world of sports or business.

In this episode, we tackle the complexities of leadership, drawing insights from the strategies of an unconventional coach and the exemplary leadership style of NFL quarterback Patrick Mahomes. Discover how misguided tactics and arrogance can derail team performance, while genuine confidence can empower and inspire. We discuss how a leader should remain approachable and adapt to constantly changing environments, always learning and growing. Embrace challenges with confidence and vigor as we uncover the secrets to a strong start, a strong finish, and dominating the process in between.

Start Strong - Finish Strong! - Let's Go! 
@4thand1Mindset

4th and 1 Mindset with Coach Mikki 

Chapters

• 0:00 Confidence vs Cockiness in Leadership
• 3:58 The Role of Confidence in Leadership
• 11:12 Building Confidence Through Leadership

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:15

Okay, come on in, bring it in, bring it on, listen up, listen up. Hey, I'm Coach Mickey. You're on 4thin1 Mindset Every season, as soon as I walk into the locker room and I get the opportunity to address my team, this is a topic that's really important and insightful, and I like to start my season with this, and I think this applies not only to any kind of sports organization, but it also applies to whether you are a leader, whether it's business, as a player, as a person, and it's kind of self-reflection on who are you and what are you presenting when you are doing things. There's a fine line between being confident and cocky, and I learned that firsthand, and I will tell you a story, and definitely not one I'm proud of, but it definitely made me realize that there is a huge, there's a fine line here, and then, once you cross it, what are you going to do with it?

Speaker 1: 1:15

We were a five and O season and we were doing really, really well, and at the time, the drum corps from the band had offered to do a full introduction where there was a ramp that went down to our field, so we would leave the locker room and then we'd have to go down this ramp to go down onto the sidelines and then onto the field. We lined up like we usually do, and I usually have my guys line up two by two as we go down as a unified team, and I'm usually in the front, and then we have, you know, our other coaches, or I put my captains up front either, or so the drum line decided to give us this drum introduction, to make this big to-do as we came out on the field. So we get out on the field, we come down, we're all, you know, we're all puffed up, you know, ready to play, thinking we're going to play and whatever was going. I guess we were overconfident, or were we cocky, because we got down there and we got our asses kicked and it was the first loss, and I'll tell you what that not only lit me up, but also my guys. I'll tell you what that not only lit me up, but also my guys. That's when it hit me right then, on the field, there's a big difference between being confident and cocky. We had to do some soul searching when we got back into the locker room after that loss, because I could see it on their faces. That was the first thing I said. I said did we go in thinking we were going to win this game, or knowing we were going to win this game? Or what mindset were we in when we walked out on that field? So what's the difference between being confident and cocky?

Speaker 1: 2:53

Well, I can tell you, as a coach, you know being confident, or let's start with being cocky. You know, and I have worked through the years with many of these individuals and you can see at the moment you step out because it's not going to change. You know what you're in for and you got to learn how to deal with it, and it's all about them. You know a cocky coach, it's all about them. They're quick to dismiss anybody's input or what they think in regards to any kind of plays, or talk over their players, prioritize what's good for their team. They don't build trust. They want to just do whatever works best for them. They will do what's best for themselves, or usually the center of attention, and it just hurts the culture and everybody around them. And I've worked with it many times where I've had coaches just do stupid things. That I'm like okay, I understand what you're trying to do, but when you look at it in the long run, is it really helping the kids or are you just doing this for yourself? And I'll give you an example.

Speaker 1: 3:58

I worked on a team where the coach wanted if you don't know football, let me explain a little. There is certain numbers when you are running the ball to the right and there's certain numbers when you're running the ball to the left. And usually and I'm going to say usually there are numbered even and odd. Most likely if you're running to the right they're going to be an even number, when you're running to the left it's going to be an odd number. Well, I had a coach that decided to switch them and they had some really good players and a lot of these kids were being looked at for colleges. And I kept saying to him I'm like, why are you doing this? What do you think is going to be able to help us by switching these numbers? I said it's only going to be confusing to the kids that have been coming up through your coaching, from freshmen all the way up to seniors that are potentially going to go on to college. They're going to step out on a field. Their coach is going to call a play and majority I would say 99% of coaches usually have the even numbers going right and the odd numbers going left. So why would you switch it? He said, well, it's to confuse the defense. And in my head I'm thinking well, you can pretty much figure that out. If you watch film, you know which way they're going to go. So it just didn't make any sense. But that's okay.

Speaker 1: 5:19

Lo and behold, the coach was fired because the season ended up being really bad. And I've seen it time and time again and that's not just one season of coaching with cocky coaches, I've seen it over and over again where, yeah, they'll do okay, and then usually they end up moving on to a different location, or they get fired or they quit because people aren't working with them. And then you have the cocky coaches that are echo chambers, where everybody will just tell them they're doing great because they want to keep their jobs. But I'll tell you firsthand, I would much rather leave a team and do something that was going to be beneficial to the kids than, yes, a coach all day, any day, and, no, he's not doing the right thing for their team. So, anyway, that's what I feel about.

Speaker 1: 6:06

So what makes a confident coach Okay? So we kind of went off on the cockiness. A confident coach comes prepared, they know the game plan, they trust their team, they inspire the belief in the players. The confidence is about creating an environment where everyone knows that they can succeed. They put in effort, they're prepared, they will do things that they know are going to build confidence to each and every one of these kids' abilities, and even when the odds aren't in their favor. And so I kind of realized that when we lost that game.

Speaker 1: 6:41

I believe in my guys I always do but there comes a point where you become so confident that you become comfortable. But there comes a point where you become so confident that you become comfortable, and then I think it goes comfortable. No, I'm going to say it goes confident, comfortable and then cocky. And when you're in that gray area of being comfortable, that's where everything goes squirrely and haywire and you're going to lead yourself into things that you really don't want to address. And then, hopefully, you can come back from it. But if you catch it as a good coach and you realize, okay, we got comfortable, we need to look at this and now, no matter what you're doing for your goals or whatever's happening, once you realize you've reached that comfortable zone, you need to start revisiting what you need to do and get uncomfortable again, because you have got to go back to being confident and not allow comfort to be able to bring you into being cocky.

Speaker 1: 7:37

And I've seen it all through, not only through college, but you see it in the NFL, where somebody just thinks they are above and beyond everybody else and it doesn't do good for their team. I think you have to have a little bit to believe in yourself, but not to the extreme where it affects and makes it miserable for everybody else around you and it's not going to do something that's going to help everyone. So when I look at that as a player, they have to be confident in their abilities and they want to focus on contributing to the team and just stay mentally tough even when it's under pressure, because confidence shows up as celebrating the team's success. And I've seen I saw it in the NFL and I want to share a story. When Patrick Mahomes got hurt a couple years ago and couldn't play as the quarterback, I would watch the game and one of the things that really stood out to me as a really good quarterback and player was that, even though he was not in there playing because he was hurt and was out for quite a few games. He was still up and down that sideline and every time that quarterback came off that had taken his place—and forgive me because I don't remember his name— he was on the sideline helping him and they were watching film and he was going over and he was helping coach and he was bringing to the team everything else to be able to help them win the game, even though he wasn't the one out there.

Speaker 1: 8:58

Good quarterbacks that take care of their offensive line. And I'll tell you what if you want to play well, you better take care of your offensive line, because it really starts with them. What they do is what's going to make you shine as a quarterback. But a lot of times these quarterbacks get in their head that they are it and everybody else is beneath them, and those are the ones that are toxic to your program. If you've got a good quarterback, there's somebody who will be a leader and step up your confident leaders. They will empower others. They will make tough decisions. They'll remain approachable. They'll be able to step up your confident leaders. They will empower others. They'll make tough decisions. They'll remain approachable. They'll be able to step up and help the guys and say, hey, I don't know, but I'll find out. They'll find weakness in things and then take the time to be able to either present it to the coaches or present it to other people and help them with their weaknesses and make them stronger. And they don't know everything. They understand that there's always learning. They listen to their team. They'll collaborate.

Speaker 1: 9:56

Now, I know I'm using a lot of this in football terms, but all of this really can apply to anybody. And I've seen it in the business world. I've seen it too many times where you have got a leader, a manager, a GM that is just so unapproachable and really has no idea what's going on. But because they're in that position, you know, do what I say, don't do what I do. And it's unfortunate because this is why a lot of corporations and a lot of companies really struggle, because they have crossed the line of cockiness and confidence.

Speaker 1: 10:34

And if you want to be confident, you got to bring to the table something that is going to help others and be confident. And being confident doesn't mean you know everything. Being confident means that you can go and say, hey, I don't get this, I don't understand this, I don't know. Let me go and find out for you and I think there's a lot of integrity in that. Any coach that says, oh yeah, I know everything. They're full of it because you're always learning. And the reason I say that is because every year, every season, are always learning. And the reason I say that is because every year, every season, all the way up to the NFL level.

Speaker 1: 11:12

Now, grant, you're going to know a lot because it's always going to be changing and you've got to understand the rules and there's so many elements to being a head coach. But what always changes is your personnel. When you've got personnel or people that come in that don't know what they're doing or don't understand or have to relearn everything, that's when you have to step up as a leader and be confident that you can train them to be able to fill that spot. So if your main goal is for everybody to succeed and to be able to bring to the table this extraordinary element of who you are as a team and I'm talking about not only in football, but in corporations, in life, wherever you're dealing with people you have got to be able to have the confidence to go.

Speaker 1: 12:00

Okay, this is the weakness. This is what we have to figure out. How are we going to get there and how are we going to bring this all together, and that is what's going to create the success for you. So I wanted you guys to know that and understand that, and I know many of you have probably done exactly what I've done. But the most important thing is I learn from it and I keep learning from from it and know when you're presented with that choice and you see it and what do you want to do with it. So, all right, so bring it in. Bring it in and I hope this helped you with a little bit of self-reflection and go out there and be confident and let's bring it in and take a break. Get a break in, let's go, let's go. Let's go. Start strong and finish strong and dominate everything in between. I'm Coach Mickey, let's go.